8 Subtle Ways to Tell Someone You’re Only Looking for a Hook-Up

Online dating can be confusing for singles of all ages. Especially those who haven’t been in the dating game for a while. All the hidden rules and expectations of your partners can get overwhelming. This is why many people avoid using casual adult dating sites.

But once you make sense of these rules, online dating can get much easier. If you communicate well with your partners and clarify your intentions from the beginning, there will be no confusion in the future. Here are some subtle and polite ways to tell your partner about your intentions for a hook-up.

1. Avoid Spending the Night Over

The morning after the hook-up is when you and your date get to connect emotionally. If you stay overnight at your date’s place, they will automatically assume that you want more than something casual.

You can use the good ol’ “I have to get up early in the morning” excuse or make up any other reason to leave. Eventually, your date takes the hint and stops asking you to stay the night. If they happen to invite you over again, you both will be on the same page about the nature of your casual relationship.

2. Put a Cap on the Chivalry

There is a big difference between ‘being a gentleman’ and being overly polite to a lady. Some men can’t help being overly chivalrous with their dates, even if it’s only for a hook-up. Remember that every gesture you make should match your intentions for the date. So when it’s time to pay for the meal, feel free to ask them if they want to split the check.

Avoid opening doors or pulling chairs for them unless they ask you to. And don’t go overboard with flowers or gifts when meeting a casual partner, or they will be expecting a call from you the day after. This rule may seem rude to people new to the hook-up scene, but casual adult dating site experts emphasize it to keep feelings balanced in the relationship.

 

3. Talk About Your Casual Dating History

Another way to avoid confusing your date is by mentioning your dating history. You can share real incidents or even make something up to help them realize your real intentions. Mention how you have exclusively been hooking up with your previous partners via adult hook-up sites, and enjoy this freedom in your life. Tell them how you have turned down the offers for serious relationships and wish to continue down the same path in the future. This conversation will help them gauge your personality and your inclinations in dating life.

4. Mention Your Busy Schedule

Another way to express your disinterest in a relationship is to tell your date about the engaging interests in your life. You can talk about how your career is your priority in life, and it leaves no room for any long-term romantic plans. It would help if you mentioned how a serious partnership might distract you from achieving your career and personal goals.

If you have a child or any other dependent in life, you can discuss how they require all of your attention. Once the date understands that you cannot offer commitment and longevity, they will not expect anything more than a hook-up.

 

5. Don’t Ask or Answer Questions About Future

There is nothing wrong with making your hook-up date feel special. You can give them compliments, ask about their day, or even talk about something emotional. But be careful when they start to talk about their views on marriage, children, and starting a family in the future.

If your date is sharing these plans with you, they are most likely looking for something serious. A great trick to take control of this situation is by disagreeing with them on all these fronts. If they mention that they don’t want kids, you should say, “I would love to have kids someday!”

If they say they want to move to another city in the future, you should say, “I could never imagine leaving my hometown.” By the end of this conversation, your date will have a clear idea of what you seek from blind dating sites.

6. Avoid Giving Favors

It is common for your date to request favors. They may ask you to pick up their dry-cleaning for them, water their plants, or watch their dog. You need to decline all of these requests politely, or your date could get all sorts of wrong ideas.

These are the responsibilities of a regular partner, and if you start pitching in, they will soon ask you for a label or commitment. You should not make your hook-up date feel like they can rely on you because that indicates a deeper romantic interest.

 

7. Don’t Attend Events Together  

Most men who use hook-up sites for casual dating end up taking their dates to occasions like friends’ weddings and other formal events. Once your date starts to think of themselves as your “plus one,” there is no going back. So to avoid heartbreak and confusion down the line, never take your casual date to an event within your close circle.

8. Don’t Discuss Future Dates

Spontaneity is a very important feature in every casual or hook-up relationship. The whole purpose of it is to keep things unpredictable and exciting. Even if you meet your casual date every other week, you shouldn’t plan dates.

Hook-ups tend to feel like relationships when you start planning and adjusting your schedule for them. Never promise anything to your hook-up partner, and leave the decision for the day of the meetup. If they ask about your availability, always go with a “maybe” and never a “definitely.”   

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